What to do when dating a commitment phobe

Other people and possibilities start to seem much more attractive.Irritable – the very person that you loved so much last week becomes intensely irritating, specifically little things like the way they dress – their personal habits that used to seem cute and endearing now drive you crazy. In their seminal book, “Often all the commitment-phobic needs to alleviate his anxiety is distance. If you believe him, the Pursue/Panic cycle can start all over again.Guys, on the other hand, know the type of woman they want to marry, and so they keep having fun, or move through several ‘serious’ relationships until they find ‘that’ person. some men don’t believe in marriage – especially if they came from a broken home.Psychologists see a clear relationship between commitment phobia, and a traumatic childhood.Studies show that people who suffer from commitment phobia are deeply influenced by their childhood experiences that have seared their subconscious minds and given birth to such unrealistic fears. However, there are some men who will only take up that responsibility for a woman who they feel deserves that respect. You think you’re heading somewhere, but you aren’t.These include the death of a parent, a messy divorce, or parental abuse. For a man, a relationship is sort of like a responsibility. He has a responsibility to call you when he’ll be home late. You get sucked into a relationship that does not have a future.

It may seem to be totally irrational – you really love the person you are with; get on great; can see a future with them but as soon as you feel yourself being pulled in the direction of a lasting commitment something powerful holds you back and you start to feel: Like you’ve got itchy feet – as if there are other possibilities just around the corner and if you tie yourself down to this one person you may miss out on a fantastic opportunity somewhere else.

Thus, the feelings he has for you are free to surface in this non-threatening environment. The only difference, this time it’s faster.” You can’t believe the intensity of the love letters I received from my two commitment-phobes when I finally got strong enough to walk away.

The relationship is over, so he is no longer frightened. When that happens, usually the scenario is played out all over again.

I’d start finding all sorts of reasons why the relationship wouldn’t work.

When the relationship finally ended because of my unreasonable behaviour, I felt relieved and almost happy.

753

Leave a Reply